Springtime on my patio table
It’s been a few days since I’ve felt like posting anything here. My life and my mood have been less than ideal this week. Too much work, too little money, too little time and too little energy. Same old stuff. Add to that some health concerns about my precious kitty companion Jessie, and some partner relationship issues and you have my ingredients for a less than ideal week. Well, at least it’s Friday today. Not that Friday signals the end of the work week for me since I am self employed, but it still triggers some ancient relaxation urges in my psyche.
I want to thank my good friends both locally and in my blogging world for being so psychic and sensitive and for expressing your concern for my well being. I love and appreciate every one of you. You have reached out to me without me even asking you for it.
So here I sit sipping my second glass of cheap Merlot wondering what I will make myself for dinner. When I am stressed as I have been this week, I tend to eat rather haphazardly (which doesn’t help my mood or energy level) and I find myself missing my Mom a lot more than usual. I guess it’s her nurturing and her love that I miss the most. And her laughter. She had a great laugh.
I also miss her more around holidays, my birthday and especially as the season changes to Spring. I have always associated Springtime with my Mom. She loved her flowers and her garden so very much. She was very much like a beautiful blooming flower herself. A bright yellow King Alfred daffodil or a velvety red Mr. Lincoln rose (her favorite). At least in my eyes. She was bright and sunny most of the time. Colorful always. Fresh and vibrant. Full of life. That was my Mom. I miss her every day, but especially this time of year.
King Alfred Daffodils
It’s a wonderful time of year, my favorite season, so it’s not a sad time. I just think of her more as the flowers start to bloom and as I start to work in my garden again. I know she is with me, directing me, telling me what plants to put where and how to plant them. You see, my Mom could grow anything. She definitely had a very green thumb. I used to say that she “could grow popsicles from planting popsicle sticks”. Since her death almost 11 years ago, I seem to have cultivated my own green thumb, when before I couldn’t grow much of anything. I truly believe her spirit lives within me and helps me to continue doing the things that she loved so much.
I love to be in my garden in the Spring. I love the new growth, the new beginnings filled with promise. I enjoy seeing the earth wake up after a cold winter. I love dreaming and visualizing my bountiful harvest while planting the seeds and seedlings in the moist soil. I can feel my Mom in the garden with me. I enjoy my garden and nature in general for the beauty and the feeling they give me, but I also enjoy being in my garden because I feel so much closer to my Mom when I am there.
I’ve neglected my garden in the past couple of years. Oh, I still grew some veggies and a few flowers and herbs, I should say they pretty much grew themselves, but I haven’t really given my garden enough priority or attention to truly feed my soul, make my spirit soar and allow myself to be nurtured by nature, and of course feel closer to my Mom.
So this Spring, I think I must make my garden a higher priority in my life and get out there and plant my seeds, hold my Mom’s hand and harvest some love to feed my spirit. Oh yeah, along the way I’ll harvest some veggies too.
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